A Real Shot in the Arm

I just rented the cutest little two-bedroom apartment in the world to be my very own bachelorette pad. I’m really excited to have my own space. No more roommates with their ever-accompanying kleptomania, rogue drunken boyfriends, and late night Cinemax splurges. Oh yes, my friends, I’ve had some real doozies. I’ve had some great roommates too, but at this point in my life, the risk just isn’t worth it to me. And I really don’t mind being alone. I’m a solitary person. Isolation is my default state. Lonliness. It’s underrated.

There are some cons, though. I’ll miss my family excruciatingly, even though I’m only moving 25 minutes away from them. I just really like them a lot. And then, of course, there’s the whole safety issue. Being solo means being easier to pick off by a crazy man or a gang of thugs. We are just talking about the depths of Utah Valley here, but people have problems everywhere, so you never know. I asked the last tenants when I went to look at the place if they’d ever noticed any dangerous behaviors from the neighbors or groups of loitering hoodlums. They assured me it was a very safe place and the neighbors were great and thoroughly normal. Well, good! No worries then, right?

Wrong! My sense of security about the area was almost immediately tested. There I was with my brother. We were taking some of my fabulous new furniture (and by fabulous, I mean IKEA) to my apartment. As we drove down the quiet street, we noticed a haze of flashing, colored light glowing above the buildings ahead. As we drove past a side street a mere block away from my apartment, I counted 7 police cars surrounding an apartment complex. “Well, that’s slightly unsettling,” I said as we pulled into my building’s parking lot. From my parking spot I could see clear as day the surrounded building and police cars. We ran up to my apartment as quick as we could in case there was a shoot-out. About 45 minutes later, my brother went out to get something out of the car. When he returned he said that news vans and reporters now lined the whole street. Hmmmmm. I’m beginning to second-guess my decision.

By the time we left, the situation had mostly cleared up. There were a few bystanders here and there. There was no caution tape to be seen or white chalk outlines on the ground, which I took to be a good thing. As soon as I got home I got on ye olde intranets and started searching for the story. Another positive: it was only a 3-paragraph blurb. Maybe it wasn’t such a big deal. I read on. Some 17-year-old kid got in a fight with his friends. Apparently, one of them had a firearm. This dude shot his friend in the arm! Right through the shoulder! Fortunately it was an in and out kind of thing and the kid is fine. But, man! Who shoots their friends? What an awful idea!

I’m really hoping this was an isolated incident. Only time will tell. In the meantime, I think I’ll have bullet-proof glass, iron bars, and 3 more dead bolts installed.