Monday, December 19, 2011

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

Has my blog been a little Negative Nelly lately? It's so weird because I like WAY more stuff than I don't like. This stops immediately! In honor of Christmas, I'm going to give you a list of some of the things that I love. I'll try really hard not to get sentimental, but I make no guarantees! Stop reading now if you hate feelings.

1- Pancakes, waffles, french toast, anything you can drench in butter and syrup.
2- Twinkly christmas lights.
3- Mustard. Lots of it.
4- Music. I could write for days about all the particulars, but I'll spare you. For the sake of specificity and because I'm listening to him now, James Taylor.
5- Ducks. Oh my, they're cute. Not when they're mating though. Brutal. Have you seen this? It ruined me forever. It was fowl.
6- Potatoes. Any time, any way.
7- Baby laughter. Oh my goodness. Heart melts.
8- The Sound of Music. (See title of this post.)
9- The mountains. Hiking in them, camping in them, looking at them. I love the mountains.
10- Baked goods. Mmm Mmm Good.
11- Being creative. Or rather trying to be creative, occasionally succeeding.
12- My fambly. They're my BFFs. It's awesome having a family that genuinely enjoys one another. (Watch. One of my brothers will comment on this and tell me to speak for myself.)
13- Allegedly, this is an unlucky number. To avoid the risk of jinxing anything I'll skip directly to 14.
14- Here comes the sentimentality. I knew I couldn't hold it in. My niece and nephew. I wish I could explain the way I feel about them. Here's the best I can do. They light my soul. I love them big time. I'd do anything for them, dear, anything.
15- Hot water + water pressure= Amazing! I went without either for about a week and almost lost my mind. Talk about taking such a luxury for granted!
16- Dark Shadows. (To the deprived people who don't know what this is: I'll explain it to you later.)
17- I feel like I need another food item... I love food... Cheese. Cheese is good.
18- Travelling. I want to see the whole world. What little I've already seen, I've loved. Mostly.
19- Reading. Library, Be Mine.
20- The fact that this here list could go on and on and never be long enough. I have so so much to be grateful for, it's crazy. I feel like I've won the blessing lottery.

It's nice to sit and take account of all the wonderful things in life. I hope all 5 of you that read my blog have a beautiful Christmas surrounded by people and things that you love. Merry Christmas!!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

If You Wish to Render Me Broken and Dejected...

1. Respond to me by saying things like "Well, wait till you're married!" or "Just wait until you have kids. Then you'll see." I promise whatever I said was in no way meant to compete with your spouse/parent status. Also, all of my experiences are not obsolete just because I haven't said "I do." If you say some iteration of the above to me, be advised- I will fall limply to ground and begin foaming at the mouth.

2. Play any version of The Little Drummer Boy at me and force me to listen to it all the way through. That song makes me crazy. It makes me writhe. There's this instrumental version that I've heard a couple times on the radio this year that features this totally ridiculous bossa nova riff in between the verses. It's just so stupid. You all must know how much I love Josh Groban by now, right? I can't listen to even his version. Ugh! That song! I loathe it nearly as much as Christmas Shoes and Mary Did You Know?

3. Pretend like your opinion is fact. This can apply to anything. Politics, music, movies, life philosophy, you name it. It's all subjective. If you insist that your way is the right way and the only way and that everybody must agree or die, a wire in my brain will short out, I will lose power and shut down. You'll have to ship me off to Japan for a new microchip.

These things are like kryptonite to my soul. So if you happen to be a bitter enemy searching for a way to destroy me, I just gave you the keys to my undoing.