With nowhere left to turn, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I took a little fifteen minute walk to Lowe's. I bought one of those car battery jump starters on the hope that there would be just enough charge in it immediately after purchase to get my car going. The package said "Ideal for roadside emergencies." I would suggest they add "and people who feel too stupid and insecure to ask a stranger for help."
Unfortunately for me my new contraption didn't have quite enough juice to crank the engine. It just turned over a few measly times. In desperation I called my dad. He's a problem solver. He called my grandpa's cell phone who was just driving past, as it happened. He rescued me from my predicament and saved the day.
When I finally got to work an hour and a half late, the ladies I work with suggested I sign up for Triple A. I guess after all my incidents with locking my keys in my car (which has happened more times than I will ever admit), flat tires and dead batteries, they've decided I need intervention. "You're an idiot and a disaster when it comes to your vehicle" intervention. I think they're right.