Friday, November 4, 2011

The (Ahem) Adult Photo Shoot

I've mentioned on this blog before how my friend Jared and I always have the craziest adventures together. Remember the gang violence? Yeah. Good times. Well there was this other time when we weren't so much in danger physically, but our minds and spirits could have been utterly destroyed!

I went to college in Logan, Utah which is the best place in the world in spring, summer and fall. Winters are hideous, but the other three seasons more than make up for it. There are mountains and caves and forests and lakes and rivers, and they're all right at your fingertips. One of my greatest pleasures on Sunday afternoons was to jump in my car and take solo drives into the unknown. I'd go a different direction every time and take strange roads until I found something interesting.

On one such occasion, I had found my way into the little town of Wellsville which is right up against a small mountain range of the same name. I meandered down backroads until I was right at the foot. There was a little trail leading uphill into the trees. Even though I was alone, I deemed it necessary to see where the trail led. I had walked for just a minute or two when I came into the most amazing forest I have ever laid eyes on! The ground was thickly carpeted with wild ivy as far as the eye could see. The ivy cascaded from tree branches like lush green curtains. It was exactly like Fern Gully: The Last Rainforest! I named it Enchanted Fairy Land. But evening was drawing near. I needed to leave, but i would return with a friend to enjoy the spectacle with me!

The next week, my go-to man Jared and I headed back to the mountain. As we drove to the trail head, we noticed another car parked there. "Ah well," I thought. "There's room for everybody in glorious Nature! Besides, they're probably hiking way up the trail and we won't even see them."

It was wonderful seeing Jared's face as we turned the bend in the trail and Enchanted Fairy Land opened up before us! "Isn't it incredible?" I asked. We were awe-stricken. Just then we noticed a gentleman standing in the ivy quite a way off the trail with a fancy camera set up. He appeared to be taking photos of one of those great curtains of ivy hanging from a branch of a tree. When he noticed us he kind of stopped and looked at us like a deer in the headlights for a moment, then went on, nervously clicking. Being the friendly hiker that I am, I raised my hand and waved with a, "Hello there!" He politely acknowledged me, and Jared and I continued silently down the trail.

Once we had passed the curtain that he had been photographing, I turned around once again as if to say, "I hope we didn't ruin any of your photos." From this new angle, I realized he wasn't photographing ivy. There was a woman standing there. She had blonde hair swept into an up-do. She had on glamour makeup. She wore no clothing. She had a length of sheer black lace draped across her. I made eye contact with her. A laugh caught in my chest. I shot my gaze forward, grabbed Jared's elbow and not so subtly quickened my pace. Once we were around the next bend in the trail and out of eyeshot of the er... photo shoot, my pent up laughter exploded out of me!

"Oh my gosh! Did you see that?!" I tried to whisper. "What?" Jared looked at me confusedly. He hadn't seen her! He was spared the horror and embarrassment of intruding on such an "intimate" situation. Well, it was embarrassing for me anyway. I won't say it would've been horrifying and embarrassing for everyone in that same circumstance...

An hour or so later on our way back down the trail I made sure the coast was clear before walking through Enchanted Fairy Land again. It's beauty wasn't tarnished by the strange occurrence. In fact, it's so beautiful I would totally use it as a location for a cool film or photography sesh myself... In a different genre, of course.

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