A Regular Person in NYC

I recently went on a trip to New York City. Loved it. I went once before as a teenager and I enjoyed it then. It was very magical to me. There was something different about going back as an adult though... I don't know, I guess I felt more like a part of the mass of humanity. I didn't feel quite so alien there. The anonymity of being one of millions was actually kind of freeing. If that makes any sense at all.

Things I loved: The food. Theatre. Greenwich Village. The cute wallet I bought in Chinatown. MMoA. OMG.

Things I didn't love: So much honking of horns. When we got turned around and lost in the Ramble in Central Park. Walking through the dank, dingy, utterly frightening outer edges of Chinatown. We were looking for this bakery. We didn't realize we'd have to traipse through a nightmare to get there.

Wait! I lied! There was one place I felt completely alien! My cousin and I were walking down 5th Avenue, past all the fancy schmancy stores. She wanted to go inside Bergdorf Goodman and look around at the rich people stuff. I tried to talk her out of it. I didn't want to go inside a store where I knew I wouldn't be buying anything. She was unrelenting. So we went inside.

The moment we stepped across the glittering threshold, I felt like there was a big sign on my forehead with lights flashing "POOR PERSON! POOR PERSON!" The women in that store, you guys! They were all dressed in like Valentino skirt suits and diamond bracelets and earrings. They had impeccably coiffed hair and perfect manicures and Gucci-suit-wearing, indifferent husbands. My Old Navy jeans and I were feeling horribly out of place. Scarves there start at $350 dollars, friends. Who lives in that world? Who can spend $350 on a square of fabric and feel like it was a good purchase? Is there really satisfaction in it?

Weirder still was the fact that my cousin seemed completely immune to the uncomfortableness of the situation. She was unfazed. Is there such a thing as "inferiority complex"? Maybe I have it.

Anyway, overall it was an awesome trip.

Nerd

My friend Garit and I were team rowing in a little yellow raft on Lake Tahoe, enjoying the water, the sun and the beautiful woods around us. Garit pointed over to the shore where we saw a beautiful old tree. It's roots were big and exposed. They jutted away from the earth, forming a little cave between the roots and the hillside.

"Oh wow! That's cool!" I said. "You could hide from a Black Rider under there!"

I then proceeded to explain how Gandalf came to possess one of the three rings of power originally given to the Elves.

Nerd.

Thoughts on Public Restrooms

1- People making conversation with me while one or the other, or both of us is locked in a stall, doing our business. Not cool. Not okay.

2- People talking on their cell phones while locked in a stall doing their business. Those poor unsuspecting folks on the other end. Suddenly the echoey conversation becomes lost in an great rushing of water. The realization hits. Weird.

3- One-ply toilet paper. It's the worst thing in the world. It just means that I have to get twice as much. Is that really saving you anything? I think not.

4- The toilet-paper-on-the-shoe phenomenon. I saw this for the first time in real life the other day. A lady I know was on her way out of the restroom while I was washing my hands. I glanced down just in time to see a string of toilet paper trailing behind her. The surprise was so great I didn't have time to tell her before she was out the door. I wonder how long it was there before she noticed? Hmmm...

5- I was in JFK airport and I went to find a restroom. The one I found was one of those that has a common entry, but then the ladies' and gentlemen's rooms split to either side of each other. For a moment, I thought it was one of those unisex restrooms I've heard of. I almost turned and left. If I were a more evolved person, I'm sure I wouldn't care. But I'm not and I do. I would rather hold it than go to a restroom with strange men. Don't you fret, though. I soon realized it was, in fact, a normal restroom.

Have a nice day.